A one day in a year is created randomly to recognize fathers. Another one mothers. It is enticing to attach to the notion and go along with the flow of this cycle. Momentary celebrations may be beneficial to a degree. On the other hand, when they are put on a pedestal, what does it mean for the rest of the time, for the remaining days of a year? What does it feel like for those who are marginalized for not partaking for various reasons?
There are children and grown adults grieving fathers or mothers or both. There are fathers and mothers grieving children gone too soon. There are men and women who wanted to become parents and could not for varying reasons. This kind of gratitude, that we are being conditioned to extend to certain people in certain days of the year, is a double edged sword. It allows appreciation to surface, some genuine, some obligatory. It focuses on what’s present. It also emphasizes lack.
What if the gratitude could fuse into our heart and our bones in a way that transcends times and traditions? That doesn’t require reminders, cards, or flowers? That is practiced throughout the year. That is extended to all the people in our lives. Even all people, and further all beings that create our version of this thing called life. An inquiry unique to each one of us.
Yasemin, June 2018